Thursday, November 26, 2009

Today and always

I am, I was, I do, I did.

I am Greatful
I was Blessed
I am Honored
I Loved
I Laughed
I Hugged
I do Remember
I Hope
I am overwhelmed

For all who have touched our lives this year and in years past, you can't know the gratitude I have. Every day I am faced with how good and kind and faithful people are. Thank you to those who have, loved, forgiven,blessed, cared for, lifted up, held, taught,tended,nurtured and in all other ways shown your love for me and mine. Thank you to all who have allowed me and mine to love,bless,care for, lift up,hold,teach,tend,nurture and in all other ways let us love you.

You will never truly know what you mean to us but perhaps this can be a small sampling of what you mean to me. Words cannot express the depth of feeling I have.

I am greatful for the gospel that has taught me to keep trying to be better.

A husband who is my best friend but more than that he is my best person. I want to be better for him. For not seeing my faults and turning my pain into laughter. For spending time and creating memories. For allowing me to lead sometimes and then allowing me to follow. For driving even when he doesn't need to. For working hard to give us the best life he can. For giving our sons the priesthood. For my baptism.

For sisters who gave me a chance when I was new and afraid. Who continue to love me through my faults and allow me to love them.

For my children who are examples to me everyday and who endure my hugs and snuggles without complaint. Who give me hope for the future of this world.

For mothers , who surround me every day. For giving me a chance to love their children and share such a special part of their live with me.

For My mother who loves quietly and laughs loudly. Who taught me there was far more to life than the rules. That life isn't black and white and that grey can be fun. Who loved me even though I like black and white. Who continues to love some despite the pain. Who taught me to sing and clapped the loudest on opening night. Who loved me when I had no one else and made it feel like it was the whole world.

For my Mother in law who effortlessly orchestrates her huge family with the long arms of her love. Who taught me that there is strength in faith and that some things have infinite worth. Who taught me the merit in patience and virtue. Who quietly forgives and continues to be an example.

For my Father in law who teases my kids and smiles at me. Who acted like a dad to me even when I didn't appreciate it. Who reminds me he loves me and does so without expectation. Who loves his son the way his son loves his children. For teaching his son to be the man he is today.

For best friends who don't see dirty houses or messy kids. Who don't see dirty clothes or that my yard needs cutting. For emergency sewing sessions on Halloween day and never letting me feel like they would rather be someplace else. For letting me listen and give advice. For letting me lean sometimes too. For eating my cooking and making me feel like a chef! For letting me love your family. For bringing cookies just because and call just to say Hi. For treating my babies like your own. For trips to the science center just because.

For nieces and nephews who are thoughtful and kind. Who take time to show me their love and make me feel like their favorite Aunt!

For extended family who remind me that distance doesn't have to matter. Who never change or falter in their love for me and my family no matter if we don't speak often.

For a ward family who continues to show love and support and tirelessly gives to others. For taking care of my family when we struggle, for restoring faith and showing compassion. For being such great examples of the gospel. For Turkey drive bys and Secret Santas.

My heart is full, thank you all for the blessings you continue to give. Thank you for being who you are and allowing us into your lives.
All my love.
Mrs. F.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Some levity amongst dealing with trials

We need some levity around here since we are dealing with some serious things that have really dampened Farty Papa and I's sense that there is goodness in all people. Some people, you have to try really hard to see it.
You try and try to see it, you are patient and forgiving and hope one day to see true change in a person and then WHAM they remind you that they are indeed who they always were. Sad to see no growth in someone. I digress.

On to the levity. Farty Papa came home from work yesterday and imparted a story on me that gave me fits of giggles. His day started out fairly rough due to afore mentioned "serious things" ( Will not be discussed here because some forums are simply not appropriate to air things that should be private. Family blogs, social networking sites are just not a place for things that in truth, should be respected and private.)

So anyway....FP was feeling kind of low yesterday morning , his day progressed and I could see he was in far better spirits when he came home. I am sure there were several factors involved in bouying his spirits but I like to think this one was "special" .

The story begins as it always does at FP's work.( I will try to do the story justice and tell it as it was told to me)..his boss pulled him aside after helping a customer and it goes like this:

Bossman: " that customer you were just helping? ( a young woman)

FP: " yes?"

Bossman:" Well she asked me if you were married , I told her yes and with several children, She said "oh well he seems like a very nice man, sweet and very helpful" And then she said something along the lines of I'd like to meet a man like him"

FP: " um....."

Bossman: *laughs

FP: " wow " and I am going to interject my own thoughts on what he may have been feeling and thinking" did she just hit on me via my boss? " " wonder why she thought that?" " I am one sexy devil, she couldn't help herself" Ok no he wouldnt have thought that but he SHOULD have.

So as FP is relaying this to me it should be noted that before he told me about this story ( which isn't finished yet , yes it gets better) He asked me if I like his hair the way he styled it that morning. He looked hot so I said yes. He always looks hot so it wasn't hard to agree. So he then says well I haven't done my hair like this before so I just wondered. Oh and I think I got hit on today at work....then he proceeds to tell the story.

(back to the story)

FP is telling me that after his bossman had this conversation with the customer, FP went back to helping her and aparrently extolling the virtues of his wife and children , unaware of the fact that she inquired about his marital status to his boss. She then proceeds to tell him this...

" Well you seem like a really nice guy and I wish I had met a guy like you myself. Maybe if I had a guy like you I would go back to being with men instead of women."

This is where FP becomes speechless and his eyes glaze over for just a moment before he recovers and says a polite thank you and smiles. He told her that was a really nice compliment and as FP states it, helped her on her way and then began to think about it some....

The following were FP's actual thoughts as per told to me:

"Did I just get hit on by that woman?"

"I told her I was married , did she hit on me anyway? No...she was just nice"

"I did my hair different today, I wonder if my hair is the reason"

" I need to get my hair cut ASAP!"

So after I stopped laughing I said to FP

"you just got hit on by a gay woman and you think it was your hair do that was the real attraction?"
Now for the record his hair did look really good..LOL
Sometimes I just don't understand why it is so hard for him to see that women find him handsome, attentive, attractive and kind. Among other things I am sure. He was really concerned that he needed a haircut to ensure this didn't happen again.

I told him " honey you are a good looking , kind , friendly and attentive man. You will be hit on for the rest of your life. Get used to it" He kind of blinked at me and smiled.

Oh this story made me giggle. He is such a good hearted and oblivious man.
Oblivious to his own HAWTNESS aparrently.

More later
Mrs. F.

Monday, September 7, 2009

A Life Worthwhile

Yesterday as Fartypapa went through pages of his old highschool mates on facebook and detailing their jobs and accomplishments. I began to feel a little wanting. As if my life hasn't really amounted to much. I am just a mom .

I made a comment to Farty Papa that was in my mind just a passing thought and one I didn't really think about before I said.

I said " This makes me feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile in my life you know?"

His response gave me pause " I don't count huh?"


It wasn't what I meant when I said that but how else was he to take that? Yea I know...It got me thinking.

Which in truth is the real reason for this post I suppose.
I didn't go to college though I wanted to. Badly.
I don't have a career though I thought I wanted one before I got married.
I don't have fancy cars, houses, boats though they would be nice.
I don't take exotic vacations , I didn't even get a honeymoon.
I don't have much in the way of financial success and trappings.

These things are great if you have them. I do not begrudge anyone who has one or all of these things. However these are not the things that have made me laugh until my sides ache. Given me peace when the world caved in around me. Comforted me when I cried. Encouraged me when I had no courage left. The trappings of the world didn't give me joy when my children were born. My family has done this.

When I got married and saw my new son coming down the aisle swinging the ring pillow , the trappings were not what made my heart swell with such pure love and hope for him and his future. How lucky I felt that I had two men in my life that I could call my own. No trappings and worldly successes can overshadow or even compare with how totally blessed and excited I was to start this new life with them.

To say I haven't done anything worthwhile in my life is to totally negate the last 15 years of my life. I am so embarassed that it even escaped my mouth. Those that know me though may not be surprised. lol.

The culmination of my life so far can only be described as being of infinite worth. I have six beautiful children whom I love dearly. I hope someday every single one of them will know that without question. I have an extended family whom has shown time and again that they love me and remind me in little ways and sometimes gigantic ways. I have a mother who despite being given every reason to fail and every hardship given to single mothers, and more, raised me the best she knew how and encouraged me to dream even though there was little she was able to do to help me achieve them. Even though her dream was cut short by my very existence.

You may be wondering why I didn't address Fartypapa first. There is a reason for that. There is so much to say in regards to him that in truth , I needed to unclutter my mind by putting down the previous blessings so that I can articulate what I wanted to say.

How do you determine the worth of the one relationship that makes having all your other relationships possible?
How do you express your love and gratitude for someone who has spent the better part of 15 years trying to make your dreams come true?
How do you express how worthwhile someone is to you, who gave you six amazing children?
How do you express your unadulterated awe of someone who has spent his life being the good guy?
Being the one who teaches you more about yourself and who you want to be than any other single person you have ever met? Or will meet?
How do you express the peace you feel to the person who patiently and lovingly showed you the path to what will ultimately make you see the value of yourself?
How do you ever repay or even articulate these feelings?
How do you express how safe you feel with the one person who has never broken your heart?
I still don't know.
It is weak at best to say I love you. It doesn't begin to cover all that is in my heart to say the very thought of you and our life together , reminds me that the infinite worth of my life begins with you and will end with you when we are old and grey. The best thing I ever did was marry you.
So in case you were still wondering. Yes you count. You count infinity times 100.
with all the love I can muster.
Mrs. F.

A moment of reflection

I received an email a few days ago that is not unlike several FartyPapa and I have received over the years from this person. It was angry, distorted, bitter and mean. More than that it was really reflective of this persons distorted view of their own life and what they perceive mine to be. I won't be going into detail because this person and the email are not really what I want to write about.

I want to write about how negative people, enemies, whatever you want to call them, (non friends) have in the past really played a part in what I thought about myself. I allowed people who found no merit in anything to do with me (sometimes it included my children, I presume the thinking was that if they came from me they had to be in some way bad.) to determine on some level my self worth. As you can imagine it was very damaging.

However over the years I began to notice that these people bothered me less and less, especially after the fire. I began to look at these people as desprately unhappy people, people who needed someone to blame for whatever they needed too. I began to see them as individuals who found no true happiness and peace in their own skin and it is far easier to blame others for your own shortcomings and failures than to step up and admit your role in your own life. Once this transformation in my thinking happened I found that I began to believe the circles around me who knew me, saw me. Truly saw me. I began to believe them when they would speak kindly of me.

Fast forward to today. Today I have tried very hard to prevent toxic people from entering my life, but sometimes you don't have a choice regarding who is in your life. Today I look back on my life, looking for some validity in the harsh words from the email. Where did these things come from? Like everyone I know, I am not perfect. I learned how to be a wife and mother by doing. No one taught me. I learned how to be a friend by doing, there was no manual. I have made mistakes like anyone , typical things we all do and as much as I try I cannot own their criticism. It isn't who I am. Once again I am faced with an individual who needs to blame me for their own shortcomings and failures. Their need to blame me really has given me a realization that was unexpected. Welcomed but unexpected.

I realized that for this individual to have such animosity toward me, I really must be doing pretty good. To be so vilified by someone whom you share no value, standards or morals with. Not a single thing in common in how you live your life, who you are. It must mean only one thing. I am living my life right and in accordance with who I want to be. Who I should be. I am raising my children with love, empathy, understanding, a hard work ethic and most of all an understanding of who they are and why they are in this world.
I think that is pretty darn good. I think that is something to be proud of. I think that pretty much trumps anyone elses negative view of me as a human being.

Yea it's good to be me. It is good to have the family I do.
Today is a good day.
Until next time
Mrs. F

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The poem I promised

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get upafter the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

This is the the poem I promised a couple of days ago. I didn't post it yesterday because I posted that bohemoth ( I have no idea how to spell that word. That is not normal ) of a post yesterday and I figured that was long enough to make anyone read. I really wanted this to have a place of it's own.
I got it from a fellow blogger. I really enjoy her blog. Check her out.

I want to talk a bit about this because it feels very real for me. Almost like a deja vu sensation. Like I owned these words as my own.

It is almost like each stanza is a stage of my life. At some point I was that and then I changed into a different stanza. I love that.
Much of this poem I think remains true about myself. Some of it I want back. Some it was time to let go and embrace a new part of myself.
This really touched me. I am so glad she shared this with me.

Can you see yourself? Let me know what you think!
As always
Mrs. F.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I love cooking

I just posted a tidbit about a new recipe I created on my Foodie Flabulosity blog.

I wouldn't say that I am a very creative person per se but when it comes to food I think I very well might be creative!

I had the BEST lunch. It stemmed from over cooked rice. I turned overcooked rice into creamy risotto cakes with shredded chicken, cheese and sour cream in them.

The result were crispy golden cakes fried in butter that were creamy and seemed really indulgent.

My daughter and I came up with this , when our rice cooker decided to have a stroke and over cook the rice. A first for this cooker.

The first batch MTA fried up were a little loose and flat. They tasted great mind you but they just didn't look very good. So we determined that if we chilled the mixture for a bit, we could fry them better and they would hold their shape.

I love creating new recipes. I wish my kitchen was a better work space so that more than once person could be in there at a time but nothing to be done about that . That takes money we just don't have.

I find myself sitting in front of my laptop often and just brainstorming ideas for recipes. Reading online recipes and cookbooks for inspiration etc. It's funny, after the fire I thought I would never want to cook again. My family was actually worried about it. Slowly I got back into the swing of things, for some things it was very slow. I seemed to want to try new things after the fire and leave all our family favorites tucked away.

It is interesting to me how food is such a part of our memories and experiences. Those beloved family recipes that my kids clamored for were painful for me. It took me to a place that I wanted to forget. Just move on I told myself. Keep plugging away. Don't stop for a moment to think because if you do.....I knew I would have to face how horrific the fire was for our family.

I try not to talk about it anymore. The kids mention it but it has become a footnote in what has turned out to be a pretty great transformation of our life. Thanks to a ton of people who cared for us when we couldn't muster the strength to be strong for one more day.
Sometimes though , something as silly and significant as creating a new recipe with my kids, brings those memories back. They are bittersweet now and don't carry as much pain as they used to. It would be easy to sweep it all aside and say flippantly " we only lost belongings and a couple of pets" smile emptily and follow it with" We have eachother"

It is true we have eachother. We were so very blessed to have no one hurt in the fire. Having seen my brother hurt badly in a housefire when I was a kid. I have a clear understanding of what can happen and how very very blessed we were to be able to hug eachother after the fire and every single one of us , in perfect health. That is the single greatest blessing.

However, our lives are made of up so many things that we take for granted. Every parent knows their childrens favorite things. The things that soothe them when they are fussy or scared. We as families know our pets are huge parts of our lives and they imprint on our children as litter mates and treat our babies like they were their own.

We all have things we treasure and become such a part of who we are that we cannot think of parting with them. Attatchment is human nature.

I don't know why I am going on about this today. Maybe I am feeling triumphant and sad at the same time. Who knows.

All I know is there is a memory after the fire. A couple of nights after the fire. That haunts me. I try to never entertain it. Never allow it to settle into my thoughts. I try very hard to replace that memory with something else, anything else. To no avail.

I should share it here and maybe by speaking about it I can finally leave it all be but somehow I know that this instance, this fire, this...happening. Will live on. It has to. It is part of our family history. It has molded us into who we are and our children as well. They remember. They , as most kids ,are open and relaxed about their memories. They talk about it. What they hated, what they are thankful for, what they wish they had back. What they wished mom and dad still had. The difference between them and me is when they talk about it, its only sad for a moment and then they let go. DM could tell you that letting go for me is very hard.

Sometimes I just can't let something go even when it hurts. Most days I am fine but some days are like today. A really great moment with me and my daughter is shadowed by memories of what once was. How she and her brothers once spilled a five lb bag of flour all over the kitchen and surfed in it until I got out of the shower. Belly surfed. The memory is a funny and sweet memory but it gives way to seeing that kitchen after the fire. It's hard to explain. I can still smell the smoke.

The memory I referred to was the night of the fire, our family crammed into a one room motel room. Two beds and a tv. It was a truckers motel. It was dark and Superman was crying that he wanted his Bibo ( His stuffed panda bear he loved). Then MacGuyver jr was heard softly weeping as he said " I miss Roxxy" (our chihuahua that was badly injured in the fire and later passed away) Sketch and Walker TR began to weep as well though they wouldn't speak. MTA trying to be brave said to Superman ( He was 2) " you can have my bear " her voice was quivering and it was her only belonging in the entire world ( gift from the red cross ). There we all were in the dark. The kids on one bed and Farty Papa and I on the other. Everyone weeping. Farty Papa got up and one by one brought each child into the full size bed that we shared. We all cried and snuggled together in the dark. I have never felt more helpless to comfort and help my children with their sadness.

Their comfort was gone. All they knew and treasured. I feared their childhood was gone in one moment. It was a very very bad night. It still makes me cry.

Now let me say that my children are happy and healthy kids and the fire is just a memory for them. They have a lovely childhood and speak often about the good memories they had in our old house. They have created brand new ones in our new house. All is well.

I just never want to go back to that place again. I never want to know that heartache for my children's hearts. If that makes sense.
Yet when I look back now, in this moment, I can remember clearly that they kids tears quieted down quickly and then they slept. FartyPapa and I didn't sleep much for what seemed like months. Looking back I can see that all we needed was eachother for comfort .

Thank the heavens we had eachother.

Sorry for the rambling post. I am unsure why I felt the need to share. Perhaps someone out there needs to read something I wrote.
Sometimes I think I should write a book. Then I remember that I have a gaggle of kids and likely not enough brain cells left to put down a coherent thought.

So whatever comes to me goes here for good or bad. Take it for what you will.

Feeling very blessed and bittersweet.
Mrs. F.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Stuff and changes.

So much has happened in the past few weeks. We watched the demise of our pool party and the birth of the trade off. More on that later lest I jinx it by mentioning it.

Oh DM if you are reading this. We need ribs ASAP! Lets get together for dinner soon. I'll bring the hungry tummies and the sides. DM= the rib lady.

We bought a truck that we badly needed. Our poor cars are like that one teacher we all had in school that was wayyyyy past their prime, limping along and hating life. We really needed to get something that we could really depend on. I really love it. I feel like a teenager getting their first car only not MY first car( which had a blown head gasket and I never got to drive it).

Squee! so excited. Thanks to SIL and BIL for letting us buy their truck and for taking such good care of it.

We started back to school a few weeks ago and wow the kids are just doing so well. They are very dedicated and I love seeing Sketch reading so well.

So enters my pet peeve. Handwriting. I cannot stand my childrens handwriting. I have tried and tried to correct it but it is like BURNED into their brains to write like mad doctors.

So do I continue to beat my head against the wall and endure hours and hours of correcting handwriting and complaining from kids who just don't think they should have to write legibly? Or do I throw up the white flag and let them write how they wish and decide I don't care if their handwriting makes them look like illiterate, backwoods hillybilly's on paper?
(no offense to backwoods illiterate hillbillies. I totally support your right to be illiterate and backwoods and eat swamp rats and the like. Power to the people!)

moving on.......We bought MTA a car for her and her Fartypapa to fix up before she turns 16. She is over the moon for her first beater car..LOL. We had hoped to do this with my husbands oldest son but that didn't manifest much to our disappointment.

So for the next year and a half or so she and Fartypapa will fix up the car and ensure it is safe and well maintained. I will ensure it is cute and fun!

MTA started seminary this year. She loves it. More time with teenagers. *le sigh*. For those of you who read this blog but don't really know what seminary is, basically its a religious class that is geared toward highschoolers, it is kind of like a short class that gives teenagers a more involved understanding of their religion.

Also this year Fartypapa and I have decided to join a homeschooling co-op...sort of. MTA and MacGuyver jr. are being enrolled in a leadership history class of sorts. They go once a week for two hours and will get an indepth look at the founding fathers and the constitution. I am not a huge history buff so in regards to history they get exposed to what is in their curriculum and that about covers it. Don't get me wrong, their curriculum is good and I am entirely happy with the level of knowledge they are getting but when my girlfriend invited them to this class I was so excited. See she is practically on fire for History. She will give them a different perspective than my own and will hopefully give them some of her enthusiasim. MacGuyver jr LOVES history. LOVES it. He loves the stories of the past and why people did what they did and how our country came to be. this class is literature based so I am thrilled for him.

Fartypapa got promoted at work and we are thrilled about it. I love the fact that he loves his job. That is so hard to find today. He really does love it and he really likes the company he works for. We are really feeling blessed and thankful.

On a similar note, my daycare kids went back to school. They are such good kids. I sure hope they get to come around again once in awhile.

I think that is all the updates for now. Posting a poem from a fellow blogger tomorrow so be sure to check me out tomorrow.

Also for those of you who followed my cookbook blog, I am sure you noticed that I haven't updated it. It's not because I haven't written any new recipes. It is because I decided to only post recipes that I won't actually put in my cookbook. So eventually I will update it but for now not so much.

Also if you have any recipes you want to share please do so and I will post them in that blog and give you all the credit! I am always looking for new recipes.

Until tomorrow
Take care of you and yours.
Mrs. F.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Days of Our Lives

After a few days of daycare drama I am already ready for the weekend. I love them but I need a break. We are having a real clash of the titans over simply eating what you are served. I think we are currently on a hunger strike. Poor guy he would be so much happier if he just ate his lunch and got it over with.

Why do kids think we are trying to poison them? I mean really how bad can cheese, potatoes and hambuger be? Or cheese noodles and chicken? I mean its not like im trying to get them to eat sushi. LOL.

Anyway, I am weary and need some time to regroup. I hope this weekend offers it.

Funny story follows.

Superman comes running into my room followed closely by his brother Walker TR. The conversation is as follows.

Superman " Mom you have GOT to look at my face!"

Mrs. F. " whats wrong? "

Superman " Look at my face! it has bumps!" ( yes he was very excited)

Mrs. F. after carefully checking it out. Stay lunch, two old bug bites " What I don't see anything dear"

Superman " I have bugs bites , look!"

Walker TR " I told him he has two bug bites on his face. See mom right there"

Mrs. F" Yes Walker but those are a week old"

Walker TR " Oh I didn't know " exit Walker TR

I look at Superman who is caressing his face as he walks toward my bedroom door exiting only to hear him say.....wait for it....

Superman " Oh I thought there were bugs coming out of my face"
Exit Superman.



Monday, July 13, 2009

Not too Quick on the Uptake.

This past week Farty Papa and I were faced with the fact that we are not so quick on the uptake. Myself more so than him. So we planned Macguyver jrs party for the 11th because hey two weeks is enough prep time to set up a 20ft pool no problem. Wow....the level of wrongness is so high. Turns out we have to level the ground , enter 2 tons of sand. Then we have to set up the pool , enter half a day of work, sweat and probably some cursing. Then we have to fill the pool, enter a huge water bill ( we knew this) and crossed fingers as we hope the liner has no pinholes and the pump didn't arrive cursed. So needless to say a week is not enough time so we pushed his party to the 25th. Turns out there may be a scout campout that weekend and Macguyver jr says to me :

" what a bummer I will have to miss that campout. I really wanted to go"


So before I scalped him I walked away so no one fear, he is still alive.
Moving on. Now I am waiting on news of when said scout campout is and if it is that weekend then we will push it back another week . Le..SIGH. Thankfully I have yet to send out invites. DM is going to laugh her A$$ off at me for this one. It may work out if the campout is that weekend because I was told of a family gathering on the 25th that I didn't realize had been hammered out as a sure thing.

I swear I don't know wether I am coming or going and I have gone through the past few weeks with that odd feeling of " Do I have toilet paper on my shoe and I am the only one who doesn't know about it?"

I swear by the time the party comes I will be unhinged. I will need the party more than anyone else!

On a different note, our days lately have been sans school. I have found it really hard to homeschool with daycare kids here. So my kids have had a longer summer break than average for them. They actually hate it. I didn't see that coming. So next week I have decided to start up again at least somewhat.

On an even more different note, I hate picky eaters. I swear if I had a quarter for every parent that I did daycare for that said " My child is a picky eater but I don't know where he gets it from" I'd have a lot of quarters. Another one I like is " my child is a picky eater? really? Wow, he's not picky at home" Huge pet peeves of mine. I really believe kids are picky eaters because they are allowed to be. I know I am gonna raise hairs on people but I will have to deal with the fallout of my radical ideas.

Now don't get me wrong I am not a force feeding mother. Nor am I a mom that won't allow her kids to dislike anything. Far from it. However I am a mom that won't allow my kids to dictate what I cook and server and I will never be a mom that is a short order cook. No way. One family , One meal. I am trademarking that saying so don't take it. :D

When I was a kid my mom decided our meals and we ate it. If we didn't we went hungry. It wasn't long before we ate what we were given , if only to fill the empty spot. She bought and cooked what she could afford. Cheapest cuts of meat, noodles, canned veggies. We didn't eat like kings but we ate and we grew up with a broad range of tastes because of it. I will never like canned peas. Ever. Or canned spinach. However that led me to believe I hated spinach and peas period. I don't . I discovered as an adult that I love frozen peas and fresh spinach.

The point to all of this is, I have two kids that I do daycare for, LOVE LOVE LOVE them. Adorable on every front. However they are picky eaters. Now I know for a fact they are not like that only at my house. What I find so interesting is this. They are from a split household. They split their time between Mom and Dad. Now Mom and I are good friends. Almost like sisters. I treat her kids like my own. One Family, One Meal. They are not always happy campers at meal time. Now Mom is trying hard to change their eating habits and bless her heart they give her a time. However I have a sneaky suspicion that Dad is not interested in changing their eating habits. The kids tell me Dad lets them pick dinner all the time and it gravitates between , pizza, Panda Express and Burgers. Now this is a man who was concerned that I would not feed his kids healthy meals. This stemmed from a day they were at my house and they have Oven pancake for breakfast and liked it so much they ate it for lunch too. He expressed concerns to their mother that pancakes for every meal was not well balanced. *blink*
In case you don't know and Oven pancake is a dish that is baked in the oven and it puffs up like popovers. It has an eggy custard center that we often top with ham or fruit. It is very good and a part of a healthy meal :P

Needless to say my kids would love to eat pizza, burgers or Panda Express three times a week but there is no way we can afford that and no way we would allow it. So their Mom and I will continue plugging away and hope for the best.

As I said they are treated like every other kid here, they are given the meal. They eat it. They are expected to eat it and if they choose not to they are given another shot at it at snack time. If they don't eat it then, they get an interesting breakfast. Now some parents might disagree with that approach but I am trying to teach the next generation not to waste food and to appreciate what they are given and find contentment. A lot of my generation have a hard time being content with what they have so much so that they overspend, over indulge and even over populate their relationships. ( if you know what I mean)

My kids know there is one meal and they need to eat it and be grateful. There is always another meal and maybe you will get lucky and it will be something you like. LOL.
I try to get my family's input on meals as well so I don't want to come across as I make my family eat vile creations. Ask DM , I'm a pretty good cook. Besides I use her friends as guinea pigs. Not my kids. :D.

So there is a pet peeve of mine in a nutshell.
What are yours?
Till next time
Mrs. F

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Clean up on aisle 7.

It seems with everything we have going on, that our backyard is like the poor cousin who lives in the woodshed.

We give it the bare minimum effort to keep it up and try and forget it exists. Largely our backyard is dirt. We live in the desert and dirt comes easy. This has become a dilemma as of late due to the fact that my son Macguyver Jr is hosting his first birthday party in a couple of weeks. This party is to be a BBQ/pool party. Out in the backyard. You are beginning to see my point.

This party would be easy to create if three things manifested ASAP.
The first being a clean, trimmed and mowed backyard. Good thing we have my brother coming over this weekend to help Farty Papa do just that. Crisis averted. Almost.

The second being that we in fact had a pool. Now I may have blogged last year about buying a softside pool and how excited we were to put it up. Alas that was never to be. We in fact never set it up and it was left to it's doom outsite in the elements. Plastic + heat + dust = pool death. We mourned and like good family members we planned to replace it. Problem is the pool we want is expensive. It will afford us longevity as it is a sturdy pool and convenience because we can leave it up year round but it ain't no chump change. We hope to have the new one before the party or egg will be on our faces. And not the good kind.

The third obstacle in our way is a BBQ. Now we have a BBQ but Farty Papa informs me that it is not in working order. I think if I had known this I never would have even suggested this party to my son. HOW can you have a party with no food? I mean there is food and then there is pool party food. DUH.
So this week I intend to go out and clean it as best I can and see if I can get the sucker to turn on.

So say a little prayer for our pathetic pool party. lol. We will need it.
Oh and DM yea I'm gonna need the chairs again..LOL. I'm not proud I am going to borrow tables from the church again too!

Truth be told I am excited about this party. My son has done so much in the past year and he deserves a celebration.

A quick thank you to Farty Papa for being the wonderful father he is. There is no doubt in my mind that our children get their good qualities from him but a few they got from me , make them interesting. :D.
I love you, we love you and I am proud to say you have been the kind of father to our children that I wished I had had for myself. Thank you.
Mrs. F.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Blessings, Trials and something to look forward to.

It has been a long long time since I have blogged. I could say I've been busy, I could say I haven't been inspired, I could say I have been hiding. All would be true and all would also be a lie.

The truth is far more uninteresting. I haven't blogged lately because it stopped meaning what it used to , to me. It used to mean a way for me to chronicle my life for my childrens sake. To document changes, successes, failures, joy, pain and all of our lifes "moments". It used to mean a way for me to focus on the little joys and quirky moments that display all of my blessings quietly. So quietly sometimes that if I am not keyed in, I can miss them. It used to be a way for me to not miss those moments.

Somewhere it became more like those banal Christmas letters we all get from people we know we aren't important to. I don't want the story of my life to get lost in a christmas card. I don't want that for my kids either. So I stopped blogging. It wasn't a concious decision it was a series of moments that I encountered where I chose not to document my life.

I recently had a conversation where there were several opinions about blogging, the internet and people oversharing. I guess I have never been one to worry so much about oversharing as much as I worried about withholding myself from those I loved. Or holding back myself so much that It changed who I was.

I personally love reading blogs about those people who are important to me. I wish those around me did it more. In a society where we are all so busy and so wrapped up in our own lives, struggles etc. It gives those around you a chance to know when even small things happen. I may not talk to my family every day or my nieces or nephews but I read about them whenever I can. When I do see them I have things I can ask them about, begin a dialogue with them about things that are important happenings in their lives. I like that.

I like knowing one of my sister in laws loves her cats. I like knowing that she has suffered something and allows those that care about her to share in her pain. It's a way to bond even though she is states away from me. I like knowing when my brother in law hires a stretch hummer to woo his wife. I like knowing about new babies on the way and getting the glimpse of the very tender heart of one of my sister in laws. She likes to have people think she is tough and that she doesn't care what others think or say about her. I like knowing that she really does. I like that I know this. I like knowing moments in the lives of those people I love.

Suddenly I began to see those banal Christmas letters quite differently. Instead of seeing them as a needle to poke me with, to remind me that while I may merit a once a year letter I do not merit anything more. A subtle your not welcome here sign. I started seeing them as a window. A window that allows me to see moments in peoples lives whom I may wish I was closer to but for whatever reason it is not meant to be. It dawned on me that it was a blessing. Something I am now grateful for.

What does all of this meandering have to do with my blog. Well I began to think that perhaps there was someone out there who wanted a window to my family. I had closed that window and drawn the curtain and what if I had shut someone out? I decided that it was a good thing to blog about my life and my family. I know that 99% of the world will never see or care what I write but there are a few and more than that....I care. I will see it and perhaps one day it will allow me to write my life story to give to my children one day.

I decided that I was holding back so much that it changed who I was. It changed how I approached something I loved. I no longer care if blogging makes it look like I spend all my time on the computer. I no longer care if it makes people talk or wonder about my commitment to my family. If you actually read my blog those two things would be laughable.

So here I go again. A life story unfolded and unfolding.
Mrs. F.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Fun Day

Today promises to be a good day. The kids are going to the park with Grandma. She is going to teach them to play tennis. They are happy with any excuse to go to the park. This will give me some time this afternoon to sort through the kids books that came yesterday! I love books. So far , from what I've looked at, these books are perfect. I am so excited for next year!

I also will have some time to research some vendors for my business. I need to find wholesalers for most of my materials. I am excited to get things really moving. I have made some beautiful designs that I am anxious to put out there and see if anyone agrees!

The kids are getting a day off from school , their cousins have a half day so I decided to just give them the day. Half days are generally our day. lol. They are currently finishing up their chores so they won't have anything to do when they come home. It always shocks me how quiet the house gets when the kids leave. The dogs get forlorn and follow me around , even to the bathroom. They hop up on the couch if I am sitting there, and lay next to me or they lay on the floor at my side of the bed if I am napping or working on my laptop. It's quite funny. Have you ever seen a beagle sad? If you know beagles they are very emotional. They wear these emotions on their already sad looking faces.

( I thought I lost this post due to a net hiccup and turns out it POSTED! I wasn't finished yet so I will finish now)

This evening DM and I are going to do sushi and then to a new asian market here in town. I am excited. I love asian markets. They have so much more to offer me and my way of cooking than traditional markets. Love love love them! I have promised myself that I am going to learn to make my own Sushi this year. I need to invest in some of the gear and then I will be ready to start.

Farty Papa is not feeling well this week. We think he got attacked by a really vicious allergy. He was really miserable yesterday and he didn't complain once when I had to help a friend out with something, which meant her two children had to come over and play with ours. By the time I got home I could tell he was just burnt. I felt bad for making him babysit but I think he understood that my friend needed some help. I taught her how to make homemade laundry soap. She needed to do laundry, had no soap and no money to buy any. Mrs. F to the rescue!

I was happy to help but something tells me Farty Papa needs some pampering tonight. I'm happy to help him with that too! *grin*

Until tomorrow.
Mrs. F.

I hope to have pictures coming soon.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A full plate

Once again I find myself busier than I have ever been. I always have in the back of my mind to take on less. To do less. Often because at the end of the day I growl at myself because my kids have to play in the backyard instead of going to the park. Mom just doesn't have the time to pack up five kids and make that trip. I always feel lacking in the mom department. Why do Moms always feel so lacking?

So here is the break down of what I'm doing!

I am expecting a delivery tomorrow of the kids school books for next year. So exciting. I am so relieved to have that out of the way. The kids are eagerly awaiting summer and the pool being set up.

I am still working on my cookbook and trying to find any opportunity I can to cater parties. I have written probably ten new recipes in the last month and I hope to have them uploaded to my Foodie blog soon.

I am working on getting my website up and running for my new business. I haven't blogged much about it but it's exciting. I make handmade jewelry. Look for The Silver Lining coming soon!

We homeschool five days a week and we will continue throughout the summer. However we will have shorter days because I am not keen to have them inside most of the summer.

We got some sad news on Sunday. It seems MTA's best friend is moving away in June. I can't even express my sadness for her but she seems to be handling things very pragmatically. How did she get so level headed? I'm really proud of her for seeing the big picture and oddly I think the internet will help her stay close to her friend and feel connected. She is one of my Hero's. I wanna be like her when I grow up.

A bit of randomness. I have a new obsession. I am HOT for this new thing I found. I want one so bad. Check this bad boy out!

You see I want to lose a bit of weight and this is the first and ONLY piece of equipment that ever got me excited. Farty Papa has seen many things he likes in the fitness world but me? Never. However this seems right up my alley. I need low to no impact due to bad knees. I need something that is going to be fun as well as faster paced. I want no jumping around and all that business. Nope. This is perfect for me. I would love for MTA and I to each have one and then we could go along with the boys when they go on bike rides. MTA hates bike riding and quite frankly my girly parts have forbidden me from riding my bike . EVER.

Only one problem. They are so expensive. If I could afford it I would get one for everyone in my family. I can so easily see this little scooter being life changing for my family. We just can't afford it. How cool would it be for a group of homeschooled kids to be told" Close your books it's time for Phys Ed. Get your Trikkes! " I would love that. We would be on those things ALL the time..LOL.

I so wish we could afford them. I bet they are worth every penny. I would give them free advertising. Heck I'd pimp my car for them! LOL. Oh well. Maybe someday we will be able to afford them.

I wish that I could afford the really great things I want for my family. Maybe this business venture will be an answer for my family. I love creating and designing jewelry and to be able to make a living at it would be amazing.

Well time to sign off and get dinner going. Mozzarella chicken over pasta with garlic fococcia and a micro green salad with fresh green beans in a chunky vingrette! YUM!
Until next time
Mrs. F

Friday, February 13, 2009

VNSA Booksale and preparing for a new school year.

Well so far homeschool this year has been relaxed and a lot of fun. It's neat to see the kids take control of their own education. Learn things they are interested in and progress at their own pace , although we have a set core curriculum we have as the basis of their learning for each grade. Each of the kids has such a distinct personality and learn in such different ways. MTA squirrels herself away in her room with her books and assignment and pulls on headphones and she simply works. The only thing she dislikes is math. This next year and the years following we are going with a two prong approach. She will have what is called a teaching textbook. As well as Saxon Math for her grade. She will switch back and forth to give her some variety. I am rather excited about her going into Highschool because her classes become much more interesting.

I am hoping to find some great textbooks and readers at the VNSA book sale tomorrow. It happens once a year and its a huge boon to bibliophiles like Fartypapa and I. This is my first year going and from what I am told there are deals to be had and homechool curriculum a plenty. WOOHOO!. I love getting a headstart on the next years stuff. We school all year so we go at a somewhat varigated pace as per public school. We still have 7 months left in our school year which is great for us because the kids HATE being bored in the summertime. This summer I will have daycare kids too so that should help with the boredom.

We are hoping to hook up with other moms this summer to do outings like the science museum and other points of interest.

Sketch has improved so much from last year to this. It's amazing. He wants to read the Harry Potter series but our books are either being read by others or are scattered about. I'm going to look for a set just for him. Its such a change from a year ago when the idea of reading was awful for him. Now he gets excited about it and doesn't complain at all when its reading time. I love that!
Walker TR is a year younger than Sketch but they are in the same grade because I discovered that they learn better when they can be buddies. They LOVE buddy work. They test eachother on their Spalding phonics cards. Its awesome to hear then correct eachother. LOL.

Macguyver is just trucking right along in his work. I am hoping to get an advanced science book for him because he just eats it up. He always has his science and history book done half way through the year. So I am hoping to find something more challenging for him to keep him busy. He loves math which is a relief for me.

Sketch is like me in that reading was very hard for him. It still is. We are fairly certain he has a mild form of dyslexia. I have a severe form. I couldn't read even a little until I was in 4th grade. Sketch we could say was a firm reader by third grade. He is doing very well now though he still gets frusterated when he messes up his b and d. He transposes like I did and it takes time and repetition for it to solidly enmesh in your brain what belongs where. I am excited to see where he will be in 7 months. He enjoys working with his brother and that seems to have helped a lot. However he is still the artist. He would rather be creating something than doing just about anything else. Something tells me that is how he will be all his life.

The great thing about homeschooling is that Fartypapa and I decide what they should learn and we don't have to conform to anothers idea of what a good education should be. We choose the books. We pick the areas of study. It gives us this great opportunity to involve our children in deciding what they study. I love that!

Walker TR just told me he loves math. WOOHOO! just wait till he gets to geometry or calculus. UGH.

I will report my finds from the VNSA book sale tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Mrs. F

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

An Update and a day beginning.

In case you all were wondering Mr. Incredible is doing very well now. He is home with his family and no doubt has some recovery time but all in all he will be fine. It seems so strange to me how such a catastrophic thing can end so quietly. Although I am sure there was much celebrating upon his return home. It just reminds me of how the world keeps moving onward no matter how we feel it should stop in its tracks and wait for us to overcome our tragedy or strife, wait for us to catch up, Wait for us to catch our breath. It doesn't. My family wept when we heard he went home. All of my children stood in my bedroom doorway with baited breath as I read the note that I got saying he went home and was recovering nicely. They all suddenly burst into tears. It was so sudden but so undeniable. They shouted with joy and relief and the tears were just an expression of their joy. It was amazing. What a blessing they are to me.

Soon I will be adding pictures to my blog and making a renewed effort to blog daily. I think its important to document each day in some fashion.

Oh and I have a confession to make. I haven't done anything for Valentines day for my hubby. I am obsessing over this because we normally don't bother with the holiday because we tend to make little expressions to eachother all year long. Fartypapa one upped me this year and he ALREADY has a gift for me. He says its something he would have gotten me anyway so it doesn't really count. He has no idea how much it counts! Its huge! Im on the hook. Help.

More later
Mrs. F

Monday, January 19, 2009

Power of Prayer

Once in awhile you have a moment in life where things are so obvious. Things are clear and concise and the grey area disappears. Over the past few days as our family has carried a prayer for this family. I know many others have as well. I know this because I have been told as much but I also know it because of the update I am about to tell you all about.

The words thank you cannot express the level of gratitude I have but they are the only words I have.

Here is where the power of prayer comes in.

From here on in the boy I told you about will be called Mr. Incredible. The Incredibles have been through so much in the past week and over the weekend we got a lovely email detailing Mr. Incredible's progress. First and foremost. He woke up. His family waited for hours before he spoke but when he did it was to say he was dying of thirst and he was starving. All very good signs. He was in fact very hungry and thirsty. He hadn' t eaten anything since before the accident.

Here is an excerpt from the email we got regarding him:
Mr. Incredible's brain bleeds have stopped. He is still in ICU until Monday, then they hope he can be moved to a pediatric bed unit in the hospital. They do not know how long he will be there since that all depends on how he responds. Incredible Mom has asked me to ask the ward members to please send her via email, a photo of those who know Mr. Incredible. They are making a slide show of familiar people, places and things on their laptop computer that can be played for Mr. Incredible over and over. They are hoping this will help with his recovery.

Incredible mom sent an update about his specific condition as well.

Wednesday night Mr. Incredible fell from the banister at the top of the stairs landing on his head at the tile floor. He has several head fractures. The worst being a long line from over one ear around to the other ear. It's not over the top like you'd wear head phones but just a little on the back of his crown. He was unconscious for more than 24 hours and his head is swollen. He woke up yesterday (Fri.) morning and was finally talking by afternoon/evening. We are so thrilled. He's still tied down to the bed so he won't take out the catheter or remove all the gadgets and needles attached to him. He is sooooo hungry. He calls out as he twists "I'm going to die! I need water!" Then he'll call out "Food! I must have food!" He hasn't eaten since dinner on Wednesday. Imagine that for a growing 8 year old boy :-/ He has pneumonia as well probably from inhaling some of the fluid he'd been vomiting out so much while in his unconscious state (different from a coma).
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. It's only from praying and fasting that he's gotten this far - and Incredible Dad and I too. It's been a tough ride. If you want to send him pictures or make a little movie for him that would be good. According to the head trauma doctor he needs familiar objects (books, toys, etc) and pictures of people he's familiar with.
Thank you so much!
Love to you all.
Incredible Mom.

Now I have changed names for obvious reasons but I really wanted illustrate how prayer has helped this family. This recovery has been a miracle. I know my family has cried and prayed and rejoiced over this past week. When we got this last update every member of my family sobbed and hugged eachother in relief. We know Mr Incredible and his family have a long road to traverse yet but it is amazing the strides he has made. My family thanks you as does the Incredibles. Keep doing what you do. More updates will follow.

Till next time
Mrs. F.