Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Knock Knock Kna Knock Knock.

To my brother,

Do you wanna build a snowman?

Me

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Sick, Sad and Disappointed

Well I finally got this stupid virus and I got it so well that I may have to see a Doc if my fever goes up another point. I am writing this during my one hour of lucidity, the rest of the time I have been chattering in bed and wishing it was a week from now. It seems we get this bout of illness around the same time each year and our whole family gets it and it lingers. No amount of quarantine or sanitizing keeps it at bay. Everyone gets it and then we get the follow up virus. For the record this year the second virus is worse than the original. In essence we are sick for 2 months or more and then we do ok for the rest of the year. A kid may get the odd virus but it doesnt keep them down much and usually not everyone gets it. Huzzah!

That pretty much sums up the sick part. Onto the sadness. Having callings in the church is not always easy and generally they are worth it but it kills me to see someone I love being wished to fail. Sometimes I think people forget that we are supposed to be a ward family and try to think the best of eachother instead of assume the worst. How come that is so hard for some people to do? I won't go into details except to say that my heart hurts for my loved one because I know they are trying but it is so hard to succeed when some people around you just really want you to fail so they can have back whatever they feel they have lost when someone else gets the calling.

I am so sad.
Disappointed that I cannot fix what is going on or help my loved one to feel good about their calling. Especially when I can't say I support the program as it is and have removed one of my children from it months ago. I understand how my loved one feels. It is so hard to want to be a part of something that you feel has been overtaken by some people who are overzealous and have run not just my family out of the program but others too. I literally sat with a sister as she cried over her calling in this program as she detailed how she felt unwelcome and like a usurper and treated as if she was inept and wrong at every turn. How can people grow in their calling and in the spirit if they feel such a strong opposition to everything they are trying to do?

I am disappointed that it seems this program has deviated from being youth led . I won't say more because I just needed to vent, my heart is heavy and being sick I am sure makes it worse. I just hope my loved one knows how much I love them and support them.

I don't think the answer is to throw in the towel and take our remaining children out of the program but sometimes that is really what we want to do. It's so hard.
Mrs.F

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Updates and gratitude!

It seems I am always apologizing for not blogging more so why break with tradition right?

Sorry I haven't been around lately. We have had some technical difficulties with our net provider and I have been really busy with life in general.

I promised a few posts ago to give updates on the entire fam so I intend to do that now since I am so remiss and have put it off far too long.

Superman ( our youngest) has had an eventful few months. He has lost 4 teeth, two naturally and 2 by virtue of horseplay. He has discovered the art of humor and let me tell you he is a quick wit. Who knew a 6 year old could make you laugh until your sides split?
Superman has also discovered that being the youngest has certain perks. He has learned that if he pretends to cry and loudly, his older siblings will do almost anything to get him to stop. Ahh manipulation.
Superman has learned to use a computer and is learning to read and write. He has made such progress in even just the last week. It is really amazing to watch him learn.
Superman went on his first family campout and discovered that he loves peeing on trees, hates outhouses, loves firepits and has a special fondness for anyone who gives him hot chocolate before his parents wake up.

Next we have WalkerTR. WalkerTR has had a great couple of months too. He is excited for his new cousins to arrive. He has discovered that he enjoys taking care of little kids and he wants to learn to cook. He is currently plowing through his math book with ease and has discovered a real love for reading. ( WOOHOO!)
WalkerTR also enjoyed the campout but for different reasons. He loves the outdoors and found hiking and exploring to be great fun. He also enjoyed the games one of our friends brought and played them for hours.
Walker TR has a best friend. Big news here in homeschool land. His new BF is a neighbor boy who has either adopted our family or been adopted by us. We can't really decide which. He spends a LOT of time here and has just integrated himself right into our life easy as pie. So he shall now be known as Aloha Dude. More on Aloha Dude later.

This brings us to Sketch. Sketch has been very busy the past few months as well. Sketch has continued his artwork but has also gravitated to cooking and has decided he wants to run a restaurant with me when he gets older. His new favorite show is Man vs Food on the travel channel. He has also discovered a new love for reading but to a lesser extent that his brother.
Sketch had some great experiences at the family campout as well but his favorite moment I think was when he was hiking with some family friends and his brothers, he discovered an old axe head. Further down the path he then discovered a broke axe handle and proceeded to spend the rest of the campout reassembling the axe. He is very proud of his discovery and intends to make it into wall art for his room.
Sketch has moved into his own room. We gave him his own space because we felt he was growing frusterated with sharing with his two youngest brothers. Since he has had his new room he has kept it clean every single day. He gets that from Farty Papa lol.

Next we have Macguyver Jr. Mac Jr has moved into his own room as well and has not been as successful at keeping it clean but he is trying. Mac Jr has enjoyed scouting and is currently working on his next big milestone . He enjoyed the campout and showed his dad and I that he really is a young man. That kid seriously knew more about taught lines, knots , propane stoves and fires than I ever thought possible. He is so smart and the first one to help lift, carry, set up, load, unload. He really made his parents burdens lighter at the campout. I never want to camp without him. EVER.
Mac Jr is trucking right along in his education. He averages a book a day for reading and has determined to have as little help as possible to complete his assignments.
Mac Jr's biggest achievement in the past few months I think has been his transition from young boy to young man. He truly has impressed me and his dad over and over with his willingness to help with the big stuff. It is bittersweet to see my little boy grow up so fast. He is taller than I am now and he is only 13.

MTA has had an eventful few months as well. Between school work, socializing, dances and church activities she is busier than ever. She was called to serve as President of her young womens age group and has been asked to speak at a fireside this month. It is a stake fireside and it is kind of a big deal :)
MTA has had some struggles too, it is hard being a teenage girl and navigating the world of girlfriends but she never ceases to amaze me at how she always trys to be a good person and her ability to forgive is really humbling. Amazing how kids teach us isn't it?
MTA has also gotten her drivers permit. Where did all the time go? My memories of her as a baby are still so vivid. How did she get to be here and how is it that I am not prepared? So now we embark on the driving lessons for the next six months.
Next we have our oldest son who has had some of the biggest milestones . He graduated from high school this past summer and has spent his summer working and hanging out with friends. We still see him every other weekend as per his request. We love that. He just started college and took on a second job so we see him less but that is the nature of a college student. He is working toward moving out on his own . He wants to be in law enforcement and his jobs both have to do with loss prevention for retail chains here in town. He really likes his job and they give him on the job training that is in line with his education. I really admire his dedication to his future to work full time ( 2 jobs) and go to school full time is a really hard life to carve out for himself but if anyone can do it. He can.

Farty Papa has had some of his own milestones at work and he continues to work hard . His office has had record months for three months in a row and they were just upgraded to an A store from a B store. This means they can have more employees and greater earning potential. He enjoys his job and I really like to see him come home from his job tired but content. Farty Papa was tasked with being the 11 yr old scout leader for our church boy scout troop. He is just getting it off the ground but his sons Sketch and Walker TR are thrilled with the idea that their dad is their scout leader.
Farty Papa and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary this summer. We didn't do anything fancy but thats kind of the great thing about being married for so long. Dinner and a nice conversation really go a long way to edifying ones soul. Sure love him.
As for me well a lot has gone on but I want to keep this post about the fam, I can talk about me any time. Next post I will try to recall all that I have been up to.
All my love
Mrs. F

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A new perspective comes a new design

It has been quite some time since my last post and in that time tons has happened that I should have chronicled but I didn't. We have had two deaths in the family, a couple of new babies that are still cooking but will be here soon. ( not me) Our oldest has graduated from high school and is now in college. We have had girls camp, scout camp, Picnics at the park, sleepovers, ER visits, bbqs and the list goes on and on. I have lots of pictures and yet when it comes to putting them on the blog I am totally impaired. I have no clue how to add them. I used to know but it escapes me now.

My brother lost his newborn son recently and while he and I are not close, I feel such an ache for him. We know the pain of losing a child and it is one that somehow never leaves you. It changes but in some ways never dulls like the death of someone who has lived and tasted life. All of your hopes and dreams for that child and what could have been are the reminders that you take with you when you say goodbye. That is a pain that lingers. So I hurt for him and his wife and hope that their ache lessens with time.

A few weeks ago my grandfather passed away. He was the only real father I ever knew. I can remember times with him where he really nurtured my spirit. He encouraged me to do what I wanted to do and to trust myself. He trusted me when no one else did. He loved me like a father when I thought I was never supposed to have a dad. He loved his wife unconditionally and showed me how I should expect to be treated. He worked hard and showed me that there was pride in a job well done and life well lived. He loved totally, partied entirely, hurt privately and supported unconditionally. He never asked for more than he had and gave of himself before having to be asked. He raised a mom for me that is strong, unique, smart and independant. Someone who would teach me those things and allow him to be the example of the kind of man I should look for in my own spouse. I was lucky to have known him, blessed to have loved him and even more blessed to have been loved by him.

He succeeded in teaching me many things but the thing I am most grateful for is he taught me not to settle for less than I deserved. His influence in my life , I attribute to the husband I have and the life I lead. I owe him more than I could ever articulate and my gift to him will be to raise my own children to appreciate all the qualities I loved in him, in their own father.

On a different note we have had a lot of summer fun. We were not able to go away for vacation this year but Farty Papa did have a vacation in which we spent watching movies and letting him get some much needed rest. He spent time with the kids and it was the first time in a long time that he was able to just BE and not feel the pressures of life.

I will give specific updates on all of the children later but generally speaking we have had a good summer. We have spent it with dear friends and family doing all the summer activities we love. There is never enough time to do everything we want to do but we sure tried .

On one such summer night Superman had a friend sleep over and during a bit of rough housing he knocked his front teeth out on the wooden frame of a fouton. Much weeping and wailing was heard across the land as Farty Papa and I embarked on an ER trip to see if he was ok and to ensure he lost none of his super powers along with his teeth. The doctor was unconcerned and said to Superman to make sure to get a lot of loot from the tooth fairy. So I carried his teeth home and we waited for the tooth fairy and all was well in the land. Except that I was ill prepared to have to present my sons front teeth to the doctor. Even still it makes me a little sad. Somehow he looks so much more grown up now.

I hope to be updating on a more regular basis now and adding pictures as well.
until next time
Mrs. Flabby

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Trials and faith.

Currently we are going through a struggle. I am trying to remain positive because to be fair, we don't have near the struggles we used to have. This is due in part to a really wonderful support system we have in friends and family and also due to my husband being employed after a long time period where he was unable to find work.

Over the years we have had many struggles of all kinds but mostly of a financial nature. We still struggle financially, as do many families in this economy. I oddly feel blessed that the struggles we have , while serious and important and can be devastating, they aren't life and death. I have healthy children thank heavens. I have a loving husband whom continues to work hard with me to make sure our marriage is strong. Illness and family issues would seem to me to be insurmountable and I am unsure how I would manage those trials. I feel very blessed to have the trials I have. I know that sounds ridiculous. Who feels blessed to have trials?

I suppose I just feel blessed because they are trials I know. Struggles I am familiar with and honestly they are not as severe as they used to be. It doesn't seem to get easier to handle these trials but they seem farther apart in occurence. To me that is progress by golly!
In this past month we have had both of our vehicles break down. A flub with our bank account that led to us having to eat hundreds of dollars thanks to the lovely bank we have. I lost my tutoring job due to them not having the money to pay for the lessons anymore. Things just continue to compile. Like most families now , we live paycheck to paycheck. If several hundred dollars has to be used to fix cars or gets eaten by the bank, we feel that for a very very long time and suddenly we have the snowball effect. Does anyone else experience this? You have one problem that creates another and then another. Suddenly you are faced with a crisis that reminds you how very close you are to being in a place you never saw yourself.
A couple of years ago I would have really struggled making sense of it all but lately I really feel like these are opportunities for my faith to be strengthened. It is easy to say you have faith when things are good. When they are easy but when things are bad and your faith is tested, those are the moments when you know your mettle. When you know what you need to work on. I am listening extra close right now to try and hear what I am supposed to learn.

I know I have things I need to work on to become who I want to be, we all have things that we know we need to change. So moments like this when I feel unhappy about a trial I am facing, I am going to focus on what I can change in me and then who I can serve outside myself. Serving others has always been a great way to feel better. Not better in the way some think. Some people think others serve because they are greedy and are trying to garner blessings for themselves, I have heard people say that others serve so they can feel better about their station in life. AKA They give to others so they can feel good about their wealth. I think those are foolish ideas and I have never met a person who has served my family in any capacity that I felt was serving me so they could show off their wealth. I just don't think people do that.

I serve others because it makes me take the focus off of myself and feeling sorry for myself and focus on someone else. Someone who may or may not be worse off than me but in the end I need to serve others because always looking inward prevents you from growing your life outward. So I am trusting that this situation will get itself taken care of or we will be presented with a way to remedy our situation and turn my focus onto people outside of me that perhaps in some small way I can serve.
I feel better for just putting this down .
talk more later
Mrs. F.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Curious

Seems I lost a fan yesterday. It always makes me curious when things like this happen because usually I have no idea why lol.

When writing a blog, they are usually insanely personal and often riddled with things that might otherwise be private. Often times we put ourselves out there and hope that people " get " us. We overshare and often open ourselves to ridicule or negativity. You hope that people can see who you are behind clumsily written words or thoughts expressed haphazardly and awkwardly.

You hope that people that come across your writings, opt for the benefit of the doubt and don't rush to judge to quickly or harshly.

So when something happens, someone leaves a nasty comment or they leave all together you are often left to wonder what exactly happened. Now most bloggers, at least all those that I follow and read, would never knowingly say something to cause issues. Normally we are just venting, pondering, documenting or capturing our lives much like a journal. Blogs to me are very personal and something that is different for everyone. Some people mommy blog and only talk about things that are upbeat , fun or funny. Much like a scrapbook of a life. Some people blog their creative writings or accomplishments in their career. Some people blog a hodge podge mix of things that don't really have rhyme or reason except they are personal to the writer and therefor prudent and relevant to them. Some people blog like a diary, deeply personal and private things that occur in their lives and blogging helps them navigate situations and problems.
Some bloggers do all of this and more.

I have rarely come across a blog where I was impressed to leave a nasty remark or say something negative to someone. Perhaps it is because I don't look at someone's personal musings have having anything to do with me personally so therefor not really my place to judge or ridicule.

Now I have stopped reading blogs due to content or that simply they have deviated from a path where I have much in common with the person so it really doesn't hold my interest anymore. Nothing sinister though.

All of this leads to this , I posted something personal a couple of days back and while I don't know what was said, a comment was left and then deleted, and then a person left as a follower. Now this could all be coincidence and be completley benign. The person could have deleted their account. The commenter could have just decided they didn't like what they said. It all could be nothing.
In case in isn't nothing though:
I didn't think I wrote anything controversial or bad in my post but just in case I took it down pending my going over it at a later date. The only reason I decided to address this is not because I particularly am bothered by someone no longer reading my blog. I don't blog for others. The reason I brought this up is because I wanted to state that if anyone ever has an issue or a comment please feel free to post and know I will treat you with the same respect you give me. If there ever is an issue , it cannot be clarified or resolved without being brought to light and addressed.

I would hope that those few who do read here, would know me well enough by now to be able to come to me either by commenting below or privately if I have ever said anything that strikes a nerve. That is not to say that I will retract or even change my thoughts but perhaps I can clarify something I worded badly or perhaps someone elses perspective can help me see a different side.

So often we go through life afraid of someone's reaction , I know I have felt that a few times since writing this blog. I would hate to think that anyone reading this would be afraid to be themselves here. Anyway, perhaps it is nothing and all this is for the sole purpose to let those few who do read here, that their comments are welcome all the time regardless of wether we agree or not.

I appreciate all of you who do read and comment. It is always nice to hear what people have to say.

talk again soon
Mrs. Flabby

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Today and always

I am, I was, I do, I did.

I am Greatful
I was Blessed
I am Honored
I Loved
I Laughed
I Hugged
I do Remember
I Hope
I am overwhelmed

For all who have touched our lives this year and in years past, you can't know the gratitude I have. Every day I am faced with how good and kind and faithful people are. Thank you to those who have, loved, forgiven,blessed, cared for, lifted up, held, taught,tended,nurtured and in all other ways shown your love for me and mine. Thank you to all who have allowed me and mine to love,bless,care for, lift up,hold,teach,tend,nurture and in all other ways let us love you.

You will never truly know what you mean to us but perhaps this can be a small sampling of what you mean to me. Words cannot express the depth of feeling I have.

I am greatful for the gospel that has taught me to keep trying to be better.

A husband who is my best friend but more than that he is my best person. I want to be better for him. For not seeing my faults and turning my pain into laughter. For spending time and creating memories. For allowing me to lead sometimes and then allowing me to follow. For driving even when he doesn't need to. For working hard to give us the best life he can. For giving our sons the priesthood. For my baptism.

For sisters who gave me a chance when I was new and afraid. Who continue to love me through my faults and allow me to love them.

For my children who are examples to me everyday and who endure my hugs and snuggles without complaint. Who give me hope for the future of this world.

For mothers , who surround me every day. For giving me a chance to love their children and share such a special part of their live with me.

For My mother who loves quietly and laughs loudly. Who taught me there was far more to life than the rules. That life isn't black and white and that grey can be fun. Who loved me even though I like black and white. Who continues to love some despite the pain. Who taught me to sing and clapped the loudest on opening night. Who loved me when I had no one else and made it feel like it was the whole world.

For my Mother in law who effortlessly orchestrates her huge family with the long arms of her love. Who taught me that there is strength in faith and that some things have infinite worth. Who taught me the merit in patience and virtue. Who quietly forgives and continues to be an example.

For my Father in law who teases my kids and smiles at me. Who acted like a dad to me even when I didn't appreciate it. Who reminds me he loves me and does so without expectation. Who loves his son the way his son loves his children. For teaching his son to be the man he is today.

For best friends who don't see dirty houses or messy kids. Who don't see dirty clothes or that my yard needs cutting. For emergency sewing sessions on Halloween day and never letting me feel like they would rather be someplace else. For letting me listen and give advice. For letting me lean sometimes too. For eating my cooking and making me feel like a chef! For letting me love your family. For bringing cookies just because and call just to say Hi. For treating my babies like your own. For trips to the science center just because.

For nieces and nephews who are thoughtful and kind. Who take time to show me their love and make me feel like their favorite Aunt!

For extended family who remind me that distance doesn't have to matter. Who never change or falter in their love for me and my family no matter if we don't speak often.

For a ward family who continues to show love and support and tirelessly gives to others. For taking care of my family when we struggle, for restoring faith and showing compassion. For being such great examples of the gospel. For Turkey drive bys and Secret Santas.

My heart is full, thank you all for the blessings you continue to give. Thank you for being who you are and allowing us into your lives.
All my love.
Mrs. F.