It has been quite some time since my last post and in that time tons has happened that I should have chronicled but I didn't. We have had two deaths in the family, a couple of new babies that are still cooking but will be here soon. ( not me) Our oldest has graduated from high school and is now in college. We have had girls camp, scout camp, Picnics at the park, sleepovers, ER visits, bbqs and the list goes on and on. I have lots of pictures and yet when it comes to putting them on the blog I am totally impaired. I have no clue how to add them. I used to know but it escapes me now.
My brother lost his newborn son recently and while he and I are not close, I feel such an ache for him. We know the pain of losing a child and it is one that somehow never leaves you. It changes but in some ways never dulls like the death of someone who has lived and tasted life. All of your hopes and dreams for that child and what could have been are the reminders that you take with you when you say goodbye. That is a pain that lingers. So I hurt for him and his wife and hope that their ache lessens with time.
A few weeks ago my grandfather passed away. He was the only real father I ever knew. I can remember times with him where he really nurtured my spirit. He encouraged me to do what I wanted to do and to trust myself. He trusted me when no one else did. He loved me like a father when I thought I was never supposed to have a dad. He loved his wife unconditionally and showed me how I should expect to be treated. He worked hard and showed me that there was pride in a job well done and life well lived. He loved totally, partied entirely, hurt privately and supported unconditionally. He never asked for more than he had and gave of himself before having to be asked. He raised a mom for me that is strong, unique, smart and independant. Someone who would teach me those things and allow him to be the example of the kind of man I should look for in my own spouse. I was lucky to have known him, blessed to have loved him and even more blessed to have been loved by him.
He succeeded in teaching me many things but the thing I am most grateful for is he taught me not to settle for less than I deserved. His influence in my life , I attribute to the husband I have and the life I lead. I owe him more than I could ever articulate and my gift to him will be to raise my own children to appreciate all the qualities I loved in him, in their own father.
On a different note we have had a lot of summer fun. We were not able to go away for vacation this year but Farty Papa did have a vacation in which we spent watching movies and letting him get some much needed rest. He spent time with the kids and it was the first time in a long time that he was able to just BE and not feel the pressures of life.
I will give specific updates on all of the children later but generally speaking we have had a good summer. We have spent it with dear friends and family doing all the summer activities we love. There is never enough time to do everything we want to do but we sure tried .
On one such summer night Superman had a friend sleep over and during a bit of rough housing he knocked his front teeth out on the wooden frame of a fouton. Much weeping and wailing was heard across the land as Farty Papa and I embarked on an ER trip to see if he was ok and to ensure he lost none of his super powers along with his teeth. The doctor was unconcerned and said to Superman to make sure to get a lot of loot from the tooth fairy. So I carried his teeth home and we waited for the tooth fairy and all was well in the land. Except that I was ill prepared to have to present my sons front teeth to the doctor. Even still it makes me a little sad. Somehow he looks so much more grown up now.
I hope to be updating on a more regular basis now and adding pictures as well.
until next time
Mrs. Flabby
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Trials and faith.
Currently we are going through a struggle. I am trying to remain positive because to be fair, we don't have near the struggles we used to have. This is due in part to a really wonderful support system we have in friends and family and also due to my husband being employed after a long time period where he was unable to find work.
Over the years we have had many struggles of all kinds but mostly of a financial nature. We still struggle financially, as do many families in this economy. I oddly feel blessed that the struggles we have , while serious and important and can be devastating, they aren't life and death. I have healthy children thank heavens. I have a loving husband whom continues to work hard with me to make sure our marriage is strong. Illness and family issues would seem to me to be insurmountable and I am unsure how I would manage those trials. I feel very blessed to have the trials I have. I know that sounds ridiculous. Who feels blessed to have trials?
I suppose I just feel blessed because they are trials I know. Struggles I am familiar with and honestly they are not as severe as they used to be. It doesn't seem to get easier to handle these trials but they seem farther apart in occurence. To me that is progress by golly!
In this past month we have had both of our vehicles break down. A flub with our bank account that led to us having to eat hundreds of dollars thanks to the lovely bank we have. I lost my tutoring job due to them not having the money to pay for the lessons anymore. Things just continue to compile. Like most families now , we live paycheck to paycheck. If several hundred dollars has to be used to fix cars or gets eaten by the bank, we feel that for a very very long time and suddenly we have the snowball effect. Does anyone else experience this? You have one problem that creates another and then another. Suddenly you are faced with a crisis that reminds you how very close you are to being in a place you never saw yourself.
A couple of years ago I would have really struggled making sense of it all but lately I really feel like these are opportunities for my faith to be strengthened. It is easy to say you have faith when things are good. When they are easy but when things are bad and your faith is tested, those are the moments when you know your mettle. When you know what you need to work on. I am listening extra close right now to try and hear what I am supposed to learn.
I know I have things I need to work on to become who I want to be, we all have things that we know we need to change. So moments like this when I feel unhappy about a trial I am facing, I am going to focus on what I can change in me and then who I can serve outside myself. Serving others has always been a great way to feel better. Not better in the way some think. Some people think others serve because they are greedy and are trying to garner blessings for themselves, I have heard people say that others serve so they can feel better about their station in life. AKA They give to others so they can feel good about their wealth. I think those are foolish ideas and I have never met a person who has served my family in any capacity that I felt was serving me so they could show off their wealth. I just don't think people do that.
I serve others because it makes me take the focus off of myself and feeling sorry for myself and focus on someone else. Someone who may or may not be worse off than me but in the end I need to serve others because always looking inward prevents you from growing your life outward. So I am trusting that this situation will get itself taken care of or we will be presented with a way to remedy our situation and turn my focus onto people outside of me that perhaps in some small way I can serve.
I feel better for just putting this down .
talk more later
Mrs. F.
Over the years we have had many struggles of all kinds but mostly of a financial nature. We still struggle financially, as do many families in this economy. I oddly feel blessed that the struggles we have , while serious and important and can be devastating, they aren't life and death. I have healthy children thank heavens. I have a loving husband whom continues to work hard with me to make sure our marriage is strong. Illness and family issues would seem to me to be insurmountable and I am unsure how I would manage those trials. I feel very blessed to have the trials I have. I know that sounds ridiculous. Who feels blessed to have trials?
I suppose I just feel blessed because they are trials I know. Struggles I am familiar with and honestly they are not as severe as they used to be. It doesn't seem to get easier to handle these trials but they seem farther apart in occurence. To me that is progress by golly!
In this past month we have had both of our vehicles break down. A flub with our bank account that led to us having to eat hundreds of dollars thanks to the lovely bank we have. I lost my tutoring job due to them not having the money to pay for the lessons anymore. Things just continue to compile. Like most families now , we live paycheck to paycheck. If several hundred dollars has to be used to fix cars or gets eaten by the bank, we feel that for a very very long time and suddenly we have the snowball effect. Does anyone else experience this? You have one problem that creates another and then another. Suddenly you are faced with a crisis that reminds you how very close you are to being in a place you never saw yourself.
A couple of years ago I would have really struggled making sense of it all but lately I really feel like these are opportunities for my faith to be strengthened. It is easy to say you have faith when things are good. When they are easy but when things are bad and your faith is tested, those are the moments when you know your mettle. When you know what you need to work on. I am listening extra close right now to try and hear what I am supposed to learn.
I know I have things I need to work on to become who I want to be, we all have things that we know we need to change. So moments like this when I feel unhappy about a trial I am facing, I am going to focus on what I can change in me and then who I can serve outside myself. Serving others has always been a great way to feel better. Not better in the way some think. Some people think others serve because they are greedy and are trying to garner blessings for themselves, I have heard people say that others serve so they can feel better about their station in life. AKA They give to others so they can feel good about their wealth. I think those are foolish ideas and I have never met a person who has served my family in any capacity that I felt was serving me so they could show off their wealth. I just don't think people do that.
I serve others because it makes me take the focus off of myself and feeling sorry for myself and focus on someone else. Someone who may or may not be worse off than me but in the end I need to serve others because always looking inward prevents you from growing your life outward. So I am trusting that this situation will get itself taken care of or we will be presented with a way to remedy our situation and turn my focus onto people outside of me that perhaps in some small way I can serve.
I feel better for just putting this down .
talk more later
Mrs. F.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Curious
Seems I lost a fan yesterday. It always makes me curious when things like this happen because usually I have no idea why lol.
When writing a blog, they are usually insanely personal and often riddled with things that might otherwise be private. Often times we put ourselves out there and hope that people " get " us. We overshare and often open ourselves to ridicule or negativity. You hope that people can see who you are behind clumsily written words or thoughts expressed haphazardly and awkwardly.
You hope that people that come across your writings, opt for the benefit of the doubt and don't rush to judge to quickly or harshly.
So when something happens, someone leaves a nasty comment or they leave all together you are often left to wonder what exactly happened. Now most bloggers, at least all those that I follow and read, would never knowingly say something to cause issues. Normally we are just venting, pondering, documenting or capturing our lives much like a journal. Blogs to me are very personal and something that is different for everyone. Some people mommy blog and only talk about things that are upbeat , fun or funny. Much like a scrapbook of a life. Some people blog their creative writings or accomplishments in their career. Some people blog a hodge podge mix of things that don't really have rhyme or reason except they are personal to the writer and therefor prudent and relevant to them. Some people blog like a diary, deeply personal and private things that occur in their lives and blogging helps them navigate situations and problems.
Some bloggers do all of this and more.
I have rarely come across a blog where I was impressed to leave a nasty remark or say something negative to someone. Perhaps it is because I don't look at someone's personal musings have having anything to do with me personally so therefor not really my place to judge or ridicule.
Now I have stopped reading blogs due to content or that simply they have deviated from a path where I have much in common with the person so it really doesn't hold my interest anymore. Nothing sinister though.
All of this leads to this , I posted something personal a couple of days back and while I don't know what was said, a comment was left and then deleted, and then a person left as a follower. Now this could all be coincidence and be completley benign. The person could have deleted their account. The commenter could have just decided they didn't like what they said. It all could be nothing.
In case in isn't nothing though:
I didn't think I wrote anything controversial or bad in my post but just in case I took it down pending my going over it at a later date. The only reason I decided to address this is not because I particularly am bothered by someone no longer reading my blog. I don't blog for others. The reason I brought this up is because I wanted to state that if anyone ever has an issue or a comment please feel free to post and know I will treat you with the same respect you give me. If there ever is an issue , it cannot be clarified or resolved without being brought to light and addressed.
I would hope that those few who do read here, would know me well enough by now to be able to come to me either by commenting below or privately if I have ever said anything that strikes a nerve. That is not to say that I will retract or even change my thoughts but perhaps I can clarify something I worded badly or perhaps someone elses perspective can help me see a different side.
So often we go through life afraid of someone's reaction , I know I have felt that a few times since writing this blog. I would hate to think that anyone reading this would be afraid to be themselves here. Anyway, perhaps it is nothing and all this is for the sole purpose to let those few who do read here, that their comments are welcome all the time regardless of wether we agree or not.
I appreciate all of you who do read and comment. It is always nice to hear what people have to say.
talk again soon
Mrs. Flabby
When writing a blog, they are usually insanely personal and often riddled with things that might otherwise be private. Often times we put ourselves out there and hope that people " get " us. We overshare and often open ourselves to ridicule or negativity. You hope that people can see who you are behind clumsily written words or thoughts expressed haphazardly and awkwardly.
You hope that people that come across your writings, opt for the benefit of the doubt and don't rush to judge to quickly or harshly.
So when something happens, someone leaves a nasty comment or they leave all together you are often left to wonder what exactly happened. Now most bloggers, at least all those that I follow and read, would never knowingly say something to cause issues. Normally we are just venting, pondering, documenting or capturing our lives much like a journal. Blogs to me are very personal and something that is different for everyone. Some people mommy blog and only talk about things that are upbeat , fun or funny. Much like a scrapbook of a life. Some people blog their creative writings or accomplishments in their career. Some people blog a hodge podge mix of things that don't really have rhyme or reason except they are personal to the writer and therefor prudent and relevant to them. Some people blog like a diary, deeply personal and private things that occur in their lives and blogging helps them navigate situations and problems.
Some bloggers do all of this and more.
I have rarely come across a blog where I was impressed to leave a nasty remark or say something negative to someone. Perhaps it is because I don't look at someone's personal musings have having anything to do with me personally so therefor not really my place to judge or ridicule.
Now I have stopped reading blogs due to content or that simply they have deviated from a path where I have much in common with the person so it really doesn't hold my interest anymore. Nothing sinister though.
All of this leads to this , I posted something personal a couple of days back and while I don't know what was said, a comment was left and then deleted, and then a person left as a follower. Now this could all be coincidence and be completley benign. The person could have deleted their account. The commenter could have just decided they didn't like what they said. It all could be nothing.
In case in isn't nothing though:
I didn't think I wrote anything controversial or bad in my post but just in case I took it down pending my going over it at a later date. The only reason I decided to address this is not because I particularly am bothered by someone no longer reading my blog. I don't blog for others. The reason I brought this up is because I wanted to state that if anyone ever has an issue or a comment please feel free to post and know I will treat you with the same respect you give me. If there ever is an issue , it cannot be clarified or resolved without being brought to light and addressed.
I would hope that those few who do read here, would know me well enough by now to be able to come to me either by commenting below or privately if I have ever said anything that strikes a nerve. That is not to say that I will retract or even change my thoughts but perhaps I can clarify something I worded badly or perhaps someone elses perspective can help me see a different side.
So often we go through life afraid of someone's reaction , I know I have felt that a few times since writing this blog. I would hate to think that anyone reading this would be afraid to be themselves here. Anyway, perhaps it is nothing and all this is for the sole purpose to let those few who do read here, that their comments are welcome all the time regardless of wether we agree or not.
I appreciate all of you who do read and comment. It is always nice to hear what people have to say.
talk again soon
Mrs. Flabby
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Today and always
I am, I was, I do, I did.
I am Greatful
I was Blessed
I am Honored
I Loved
I Laughed
I Hugged
I do Remember
I Hope
I am overwhelmed
For all who have touched our lives this year and in years past, you can't know the gratitude I have. Every day I am faced with how good and kind and faithful people are. Thank you to those who have, loved, forgiven,blessed, cared for, lifted up, held, taught,tended,nurtured and in all other ways shown your love for me and mine. Thank you to all who have allowed me and mine to love,bless,care for, lift up,hold,teach,tend,nurture and in all other ways let us love you.
You will never truly know what you mean to us but perhaps this can be a small sampling of what you mean to me. Words cannot express the depth of feeling I have.
I am greatful for the gospel that has taught me to keep trying to be better.
A husband who is my best friend but more than that he is my best person. I want to be better for him. For not seeing my faults and turning my pain into laughter. For spending time and creating memories. For allowing me to lead sometimes and then allowing me to follow. For driving even when he doesn't need to. For working hard to give us the best life he can. For giving our sons the priesthood. For my baptism.
For sisters who gave me a chance when I was new and afraid. Who continue to love me through my faults and allow me to love them.
For my children who are examples to me everyday and who endure my hugs and snuggles without complaint. Who give me hope for the future of this world.
For mothers , who surround me every day. For giving me a chance to love their children and share such a special part of their live with me.
For My mother who loves quietly and laughs loudly. Who taught me there was far more to life than the rules. That life isn't black and white and that grey can be fun. Who loved me even though I like black and white. Who continues to love some despite the pain. Who taught me to sing and clapped the loudest on opening night. Who loved me when I had no one else and made it feel like it was the whole world.
For my Mother in law who effortlessly orchestrates her huge family with the long arms of her love. Who taught me that there is strength in faith and that some things have infinite worth. Who taught me the merit in patience and virtue. Who quietly forgives and continues to be an example.
For my Father in law who teases my kids and smiles at me. Who acted like a dad to me even when I didn't appreciate it. Who reminds me he loves me and does so without expectation. Who loves his son the way his son loves his children. For teaching his son to be the man he is today.
For best friends who don't see dirty houses or messy kids. Who don't see dirty clothes or that my yard needs cutting. For emergency sewing sessions on Halloween day and never letting me feel like they would rather be someplace else. For letting me listen and give advice. For letting me lean sometimes too. For eating my cooking and making me feel like a chef! For letting me love your family. For bringing cookies just because and call just to say Hi. For treating my babies like your own. For trips to the science center just because.
For nieces and nephews who are thoughtful and kind. Who take time to show me their love and make me feel like their favorite Aunt!
For extended family who remind me that distance doesn't have to matter. Who never change or falter in their love for me and my family no matter if we don't speak often.
For a ward family who continues to show love and support and tirelessly gives to others. For taking care of my family when we struggle, for restoring faith and showing compassion. For being such great examples of the gospel. For Turkey drive bys and Secret Santas.
My heart is full, thank you all for the blessings you continue to give. Thank you for being who you are and allowing us into your lives.
All my love.
Mrs. F.
I am Greatful
I was Blessed
I am Honored
I Loved
I Laughed
I Hugged
I do Remember
I Hope
I am overwhelmed
For all who have touched our lives this year and in years past, you can't know the gratitude I have. Every day I am faced with how good and kind and faithful people are. Thank you to those who have, loved, forgiven,blessed, cared for, lifted up, held, taught,tended,nurtured and in all other ways shown your love for me and mine. Thank you to all who have allowed me and mine to love,bless,care for, lift up,hold,teach,tend,nurture and in all other ways let us love you.
You will never truly know what you mean to us but perhaps this can be a small sampling of what you mean to me. Words cannot express the depth of feeling I have.
I am greatful for the gospel that has taught me to keep trying to be better.
A husband who is my best friend but more than that he is my best person. I want to be better for him. For not seeing my faults and turning my pain into laughter. For spending time and creating memories. For allowing me to lead sometimes and then allowing me to follow. For driving even when he doesn't need to. For working hard to give us the best life he can. For giving our sons the priesthood. For my baptism.
For sisters who gave me a chance when I was new and afraid. Who continue to love me through my faults and allow me to love them.
For my children who are examples to me everyday and who endure my hugs and snuggles without complaint. Who give me hope for the future of this world.
For mothers , who surround me every day. For giving me a chance to love their children and share such a special part of their live with me.
For My mother who loves quietly and laughs loudly. Who taught me there was far more to life than the rules. That life isn't black and white and that grey can be fun. Who loved me even though I like black and white. Who continues to love some despite the pain. Who taught me to sing and clapped the loudest on opening night. Who loved me when I had no one else and made it feel like it was the whole world.
For my Mother in law who effortlessly orchestrates her huge family with the long arms of her love. Who taught me that there is strength in faith and that some things have infinite worth. Who taught me the merit in patience and virtue. Who quietly forgives and continues to be an example.
For my Father in law who teases my kids and smiles at me. Who acted like a dad to me even when I didn't appreciate it. Who reminds me he loves me and does so without expectation. Who loves his son the way his son loves his children. For teaching his son to be the man he is today.
For best friends who don't see dirty houses or messy kids. Who don't see dirty clothes or that my yard needs cutting. For emergency sewing sessions on Halloween day and never letting me feel like they would rather be someplace else. For letting me listen and give advice. For letting me lean sometimes too. For eating my cooking and making me feel like a chef! For letting me love your family. For bringing cookies just because and call just to say Hi. For treating my babies like your own. For trips to the science center just because.
For nieces and nephews who are thoughtful and kind. Who take time to show me their love and make me feel like their favorite Aunt!
For extended family who remind me that distance doesn't have to matter. Who never change or falter in their love for me and my family no matter if we don't speak often.
For a ward family who continues to show love and support and tirelessly gives to others. For taking care of my family when we struggle, for restoring faith and showing compassion. For being such great examples of the gospel. For Turkey drive bys and Secret Santas.
My heart is full, thank you all for the blessings you continue to give. Thank you for being who you are and allowing us into your lives.
All my love.
Mrs. F.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Some levity amongst dealing with trials
We need some levity around here since we are dealing with some serious things that have really dampened Farty Papa and I's sense that there is goodness in all people. Some people, you have to try really hard to see it.
You try and try to see it, you are patient and forgiving and hope one day to see true change in a person and then WHAM they remind you that they are indeed who they always were. Sad to see no growth in someone. I digress.
On to the levity. Farty Papa came home from work yesterday and imparted a story on me that gave me fits of giggles. His day started out fairly rough due to afore mentioned "serious things" ( Will not be discussed here because some forums are simply not appropriate to air things that should be private. Family blogs, social networking sites are just not a place for things that in truth, should be respected and private.)
So anyway....FP was feeling kind of low yesterday morning , his day progressed and I could see he was in far better spirits when he came home. I am sure there were several factors involved in bouying his spirits but I like to think this one was "special" .
The story begins as it always does at FP's work.( I will try to do the story justice and tell it as it was told to me)..his boss pulled him aside after helping a customer and it goes like this:
Bossman: " that customer you were just helping? ( a young woman)
FP: " yes?"
Bossman:" Well she asked me if you were married , I told her yes and with several children, She said "oh well he seems like a very nice man, sweet and very helpful" And then she said something along the lines of I'd like to meet a man like him"
FP: " um....."
Bossman: *laughs
FP: " wow " and I am going to interject my own thoughts on what he may have been feeling and thinking" did she just hit on me via my boss? " " wonder why she thought that?" " I am one sexy devil, she couldn't help herself" Ok no he wouldnt have thought that but he SHOULD have.
So as FP is relaying this to me it should be noted that before he told me about this story ( which isn't finished yet , yes it gets better) He asked me if I like his hair the way he styled it that morning. He looked hot so I said yes. He always looks hot so it wasn't hard to agree. So he then says well I haven't done my hair like this before so I just wondered. Oh and I think I got hit on today at work....then he proceeds to tell the story.
(back to the story)
FP is telling me that after his bossman had this conversation with the customer, FP went back to helping her and aparrently extolling the virtues of his wife and children , unaware of the fact that she inquired about his marital status to his boss. She then proceeds to tell him this...
" Well you seem like a really nice guy and I wish I had met a guy like you myself. Maybe if I had a guy like you I would go back to being with men instead of women."
This is where FP becomes speechless and his eyes glaze over for just a moment before he recovers and says a polite thank you and smiles. He told her that was a really nice compliment and as FP states it, helped her on her way and then began to think about it some....
The following were FP's actual thoughts as per told to me:
"Did I just get hit on by that woman?"
"I told her I was married , did she hit on me anyway? No...she was just nice"
"I did my hair different today, I wonder if my hair is the reason"
" I need to get my hair cut ASAP!"
So after I stopped laughing I said to FP
"you just got hit on by a gay woman and you think it was your hair do that was the real attraction?"
Now for the record his hair did look really good..LOL
Sometimes I just don't understand why it is so hard for him to see that women find him handsome, attentive, attractive and kind. Among other things I am sure. He was really concerned that he needed a haircut to ensure this didn't happen again.
I told him " honey you are a good looking , kind , friendly and attentive man. You will be hit on for the rest of your life. Get used to it" He kind of blinked at me and smiled.
Oh this story made me giggle. He is such a good hearted and oblivious man.
Oblivious to his own HAWTNESS aparrently.
More later
Mrs. F.
You try and try to see it, you are patient and forgiving and hope one day to see true change in a person and then WHAM they remind you that they are indeed who they always were. Sad to see no growth in someone. I digress.
On to the levity. Farty Papa came home from work yesterday and imparted a story on me that gave me fits of giggles. His day started out fairly rough due to afore mentioned "serious things" ( Will not be discussed here because some forums are simply not appropriate to air things that should be private. Family blogs, social networking sites are just not a place for things that in truth, should be respected and private.)
So anyway....FP was feeling kind of low yesterday morning , his day progressed and I could see he was in far better spirits when he came home. I am sure there were several factors involved in bouying his spirits but I like to think this one was "special" .
The story begins as it always does at FP's work.( I will try to do the story justice and tell it as it was told to me)..his boss pulled him aside after helping a customer and it goes like this:
Bossman: " that customer you were just helping? ( a young woman)
FP: " yes?"
Bossman:" Well she asked me if you were married , I told her yes and with several children, She said "oh well he seems like a very nice man, sweet and very helpful" And then she said something along the lines of I'd like to meet a man like him"
FP: " um....."
Bossman: *laughs
FP: " wow " and I am going to interject my own thoughts on what he may have been feeling and thinking" did she just hit on me via my boss? " " wonder why she thought that?" " I am one sexy devil, she couldn't help herself" Ok no he wouldnt have thought that but he SHOULD have.
So as FP is relaying this to me it should be noted that before he told me about this story ( which isn't finished yet , yes it gets better) He asked me if I like his hair the way he styled it that morning. He looked hot so I said yes. He always looks hot so it wasn't hard to agree. So he then says well I haven't done my hair like this before so I just wondered. Oh and I think I got hit on today at work....then he proceeds to tell the story.
(back to the story)
FP is telling me that after his bossman had this conversation with the customer, FP went back to helping her and aparrently extolling the virtues of his wife and children , unaware of the fact that she inquired about his marital status to his boss. She then proceeds to tell him this...
" Well you seem like a really nice guy and I wish I had met a guy like you myself. Maybe if I had a guy like you I would go back to being with men instead of women."
This is where FP becomes speechless and his eyes glaze over for just a moment before he recovers and says a polite thank you and smiles. He told her that was a really nice compliment and as FP states it, helped her on her way and then began to think about it some....
The following were FP's actual thoughts as per told to me:
"Did I just get hit on by that woman?"
"I told her I was married , did she hit on me anyway? No...she was just nice"
"I did my hair different today, I wonder if my hair is the reason"
" I need to get my hair cut ASAP!"
So after I stopped laughing I said to FP
"you just got hit on by a gay woman and you think it was your hair do that was the real attraction?"
Now for the record his hair did look really good..LOL
Sometimes I just don't understand why it is so hard for him to see that women find him handsome, attentive, attractive and kind. Among other things I am sure. He was really concerned that he needed a haircut to ensure this didn't happen again.
I told him " honey you are a good looking , kind , friendly and attentive man. You will be hit on for the rest of your life. Get used to it" He kind of blinked at me and smiled.
Oh this story made me giggle. He is such a good hearted and oblivious man.
Oblivious to his own HAWTNESS aparrently.
More later
Mrs. F.
Monday, September 7, 2009
A Life Worthwhile
Yesterday as Fartypapa went through pages of his old highschool mates on facebook and detailing their jobs and accomplishments. I began to feel a little wanting. As if my life hasn't really amounted to much. I am just a mom .
I made a comment to Farty Papa that was in my mind just a passing thought and one I didn't really think about before I said.
I said " This makes me feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile in my life you know?"
His response gave me pause " I don't count huh?"
Ouch.
It wasn't what I meant when I said that but how else was he to take that? Yea I know...It got me thinking.
Which in truth is the real reason for this post I suppose.
I didn't go to college though I wanted to. Badly.
I don't have a career though I thought I wanted one before I got married.
I don't have fancy cars, houses, boats though they would be nice.
I don't take exotic vacations , I didn't even get a honeymoon.
I don't have much in the way of financial success and trappings.
These things are great if you have them. I do not begrudge anyone who has one or all of these things. However these are not the things that have made me laugh until my sides ache. Given me peace when the world caved in around me. Comforted me when I cried. Encouraged me when I had no courage left. The trappings of the world didn't give me joy when my children were born. My family has done this.
When I got married and saw my new son coming down the aisle swinging the ring pillow , the trappings were not what made my heart swell with such pure love and hope for him and his future. How lucky I felt that I had two men in my life that I could call my own. No trappings and worldly successes can overshadow or even compare with how totally blessed and excited I was to start this new life with them.
To say I haven't done anything worthwhile in my life is to totally negate the last 15 years of my life. I am so embarassed that it even escaped my mouth. Those that know me though may not be surprised. lol.
The culmination of my life so far can only be described as being of infinite worth. I have six beautiful children whom I love dearly. I hope someday every single one of them will know that without question. I have an extended family whom has shown time and again that they love me and remind me in little ways and sometimes gigantic ways. I have a mother who despite being given every reason to fail and every hardship given to single mothers, and more, raised me the best she knew how and encouraged me to dream even though there was little she was able to do to help me achieve them. Even though her dream was cut short by my very existence.
You may be wondering why I didn't address Fartypapa first. There is a reason for that. There is so much to say in regards to him that in truth , I needed to unclutter my mind by putting down the previous blessings so that I can articulate what I wanted to say.
How do you determine the worth of the one relationship that makes having all your other relationships possible?
How do you express your love and gratitude for someone who has spent the better part of 15 years trying to make your dreams come true?
How do you express how worthwhile someone is to you, who gave you six amazing children?
How do you express your unadulterated awe of someone who has spent his life being the good guy?
Being the one who teaches you more about yourself and who you want to be than any other single person you have ever met? Or will meet?
How do you express the peace you feel to the person who patiently and lovingly showed you the path to what will ultimately make you see the value of yourself?
How do you ever repay or even articulate these feelings?
How do you express how safe you feel with the one person who has never broken your heart?
I still don't know.
It is weak at best to say I love you. It doesn't begin to cover all that is in my heart to say the very thought of you and our life together , reminds me that the infinite worth of my life begins with you and will end with you when we are old and grey. The best thing I ever did was marry you.
So in case you were still wondering. Yes you count. You count infinity times 100.
with all the love I can muster.
Mrs. F.
I made a comment to Farty Papa that was in my mind just a passing thought and one I didn't really think about before I said.
I said " This makes me feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile in my life you know?"
His response gave me pause " I don't count huh?"
Ouch.
It wasn't what I meant when I said that but how else was he to take that? Yea I know...It got me thinking.
Which in truth is the real reason for this post I suppose.
I didn't go to college though I wanted to. Badly.
I don't have a career though I thought I wanted one before I got married.
I don't have fancy cars, houses, boats though they would be nice.
I don't take exotic vacations , I didn't even get a honeymoon.
I don't have much in the way of financial success and trappings.
These things are great if you have them. I do not begrudge anyone who has one or all of these things. However these are not the things that have made me laugh until my sides ache. Given me peace when the world caved in around me. Comforted me when I cried. Encouraged me when I had no courage left. The trappings of the world didn't give me joy when my children were born. My family has done this.
When I got married and saw my new son coming down the aisle swinging the ring pillow , the trappings were not what made my heart swell with such pure love and hope for him and his future. How lucky I felt that I had two men in my life that I could call my own. No trappings and worldly successes can overshadow or even compare with how totally blessed and excited I was to start this new life with them.
To say I haven't done anything worthwhile in my life is to totally negate the last 15 years of my life. I am so embarassed that it even escaped my mouth. Those that know me though may not be surprised. lol.
The culmination of my life so far can only be described as being of infinite worth. I have six beautiful children whom I love dearly. I hope someday every single one of them will know that without question. I have an extended family whom has shown time and again that they love me and remind me in little ways and sometimes gigantic ways. I have a mother who despite being given every reason to fail and every hardship given to single mothers, and more, raised me the best she knew how and encouraged me to dream even though there was little she was able to do to help me achieve them. Even though her dream was cut short by my very existence.
You may be wondering why I didn't address Fartypapa first. There is a reason for that. There is so much to say in regards to him that in truth , I needed to unclutter my mind by putting down the previous blessings so that I can articulate what I wanted to say.
How do you determine the worth of the one relationship that makes having all your other relationships possible?
How do you express your love and gratitude for someone who has spent the better part of 15 years trying to make your dreams come true?
How do you express how worthwhile someone is to you, who gave you six amazing children?
How do you express your unadulterated awe of someone who has spent his life being the good guy?
Being the one who teaches you more about yourself and who you want to be than any other single person you have ever met? Or will meet?
How do you express the peace you feel to the person who patiently and lovingly showed you the path to what will ultimately make you see the value of yourself?
How do you ever repay or even articulate these feelings?
How do you express how safe you feel with the one person who has never broken your heart?
I still don't know.
It is weak at best to say I love you. It doesn't begin to cover all that is in my heart to say the very thought of you and our life together , reminds me that the infinite worth of my life begins with you and will end with you when we are old and grey. The best thing I ever did was marry you.
So in case you were still wondering. Yes you count. You count infinity times 100.
with all the love I can muster.
Mrs. F.
A moment of reflection
I received an email a few days ago that is not unlike several FartyPapa and I have received over the years from this person. It was angry, distorted, bitter and mean. More than that it was really reflective of this persons distorted view of their own life and what they perceive mine to be. I won't be going into detail because this person and the email are not really what I want to write about.
I want to write about how negative people, enemies, whatever you want to call them, (non friends) have in the past really played a part in what I thought about myself. I allowed people who found no merit in anything to do with me (sometimes it included my children, I presume the thinking was that if they came from me they had to be in some way bad.) to determine on some level my self worth. As you can imagine it was very damaging.
However over the years I began to notice that these people bothered me less and less, especially after the fire. I began to look at these people as desprately unhappy people, people who needed someone to blame for whatever they needed too. I began to see them as individuals who found no true happiness and peace in their own skin and it is far easier to blame others for your own shortcomings and failures than to step up and admit your role in your own life. Once this transformation in my thinking happened I found that I began to believe the circles around me who knew me, saw me. Truly saw me. I began to believe them when they would speak kindly of me.
Fast forward to today. Today I have tried very hard to prevent toxic people from entering my life, but sometimes you don't have a choice regarding who is in your life. Today I look back on my life, looking for some validity in the harsh words from the email. Where did these things come from? Like everyone I know, I am not perfect. I learned how to be a wife and mother by doing. No one taught me. I learned how to be a friend by doing, there was no manual. I have made mistakes like anyone , typical things we all do and as much as I try I cannot own their criticism. It isn't who I am. Once again I am faced with an individual who needs to blame me for their own shortcomings and failures. Their need to blame me really has given me a realization that was unexpected. Welcomed but unexpected.
I realized that for this individual to have such animosity toward me, I really must be doing pretty good. To be so vilified by someone whom you share no value, standards or morals with. Not a single thing in common in how you live your life, who you are. It must mean only one thing. I am living my life right and in accordance with who I want to be. Who I should be. I am raising my children with love, empathy, understanding, a hard work ethic and most of all an understanding of who they are and why they are in this world.
I think that is pretty darn good. I think that is something to be proud of. I think that pretty much trumps anyone elses negative view of me as a human being.
Yea it's good to be me. It is good to have the family I do.
Today is a good day.
Until next time
Mrs. F
I want to write about how negative people, enemies, whatever you want to call them, (non friends) have in the past really played a part in what I thought about myself. I allowed people who found no merit in anything to do with me (sometimes it included my children, I presume the thinking was that if they came from me they had to be in some way bad.) to determine on some level my self worth. As you can imagine it was very damaging.
However over the years I began to notice that these people bothered me less and less, especially after the fire. I began to look at these people as desprately unhappy people, people who needed someone to blame for whatever they needed too. I began to see them as individuals who found no true happiness and peace in their own skin and it is far easier to blame others for your own shortcomings and failures than to step up and admit your role in your own life. Once this transformation in my thinking happened I found that I began to believe the circles around me who knew me, saw me. Truly saw me. I began to believe them when they would speak kindly of me.
Fast forward to today. Today I have tried very hard to prevent toxic people from entering my life, but sometimes you don't have a choice regarding who is in your life. Today I look back on my life, looking for some validity in the harsh words from the email. Where did these things come from? Like everyone I know, I am not perfect. I learned how to be a wife and mother by doing. No one taught me. I learned how to be a friend by doing, there was no manual. I have made mistakes like anyone , typical things we all do and as much as I try I cannot own their criticism. It isn't who I am. Once again I am faced with an individual who needs to blame me for their own shortcomings and failures. Their need to blame me really has given me a realization that was unexpected. Welcomed but unexpected.
I realized that for this individual to have such animosity toward me, I really must be doing pretty good. To be so vilified by someone whom you share no value, standards or morals with. Not a single thing in common in how you live your life, who you are. It must mean only one thing. I am living my life right and in accordance with who I want to be. Who I should be. I am raising my children with love, empathy, understanding, a hard work ethic and most of all an understanding of who they are and why they are in this world.
I think that is pretty darn good. I think that is something to be proud of. I think that pretty much trumps anyone elses negative view of me as a human being.
Yea it's good to be me. It is good to have the family I do.
Today is a good day.
Until next time
Mrs. F
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