Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A new perspective comes a new design

It has been quite some time since my last post and in that time tons has happened that I should have chronicled but I didn't. We have had two deaths in the family, a couple of new babies that are still cooking but will be here soon. ( not me) Our oldest has graduated from high school and is now in college. We have had girls camp, scout camp, Picnics at the park, sleepovers, ER visits, bbqs and the list goes on and on. I have lots of pictures and yet when it comes to putting them on the blog I am totally impaired. I have no clue how to add them. I used to know but it escapes me now.

My brother lost his newborn son recently and while he and I are not close, I feel such an ache for him. We know the pain of losing a child and it is one that somehow never leaves you. It changes but in some ways never dulls like the death of someone who has lived and tasted life. All of your hopes and dreams for that child and what could have been are the reminders that you take with you when you say goodbye. That is a pain that lingers. So I hurt for him and his wife and hope that their ache lessens with time.

A few weeks ago my grandfather passed away. He was the only real father I ever knew. I can remember times with him where he really nurtured my spirit. He encouraged me to do what I wanted to do and to trust myself. He trusted me when no one else did. He loved me like a father when I thought I was never supposed to have a dad. He loved his wife unconditionally and showed me how I should expect to be treated. He worked hard and showed me that there was pride in a job well done and life well lived. He loved totally, partied entirely, hurt privately and supported unconditionally. He never asked for more than he had and gave of himself before having to be asked. He raised a mom for me that is strong, unique, smart and independant. Someone who would teach me those things and allow him to be the example of the kind of man I should look for in my own spouse. I was lucky to have known him, blessed to have loved him and even more blessed to have been loved by him.

He succeeded in teaching me many things but the thing I am most grateful for is he taught me not to settle for less than I deserved. His influence in my life , I attribute to the husband I have and the life I lead. I owe him more than I could ever articulate and my gift to him will be to raise my own children to appreciate all the qualities I loved in him, in their own father.

On a different note we have had a lot of summer fun. We were not able to go away for vacation this year but Farty Papa did have a vacation in which we spent watching movies and letting him get some much needed rest. He spent time with the kids and it was the first time in a long time that he was able to just BE and not feel the pressures of life.

I will give specific updates on all of the children later but generally speaking we have had a good summer. We have spent it with dear friends and family doing all the summer activities we love. There is never enough time to do everything we want to do but we sure tried .

On one such summer night Superman had a friend sleep over and during a bit of rough housing he knocked his front teeth out on the wooden frame of a fouton. Much weeping and wailing was heard across the land as Farty Papa and I embarked on an ER trip to see if he was ok and to ensure he lost none of his super powers along with his teeth. The doctor was unconcerned and said to Superman to make sure to get a lot of loot from the tooth fairy. So I carried his teeth home and we waited for the tooth fairy and all was well in the land. Except that I was ill prepared to have to present my sons front teeth to the doctor. Even still it makes me a little sad. Somehow he looks so much more grown up now.

I hope to be updating on a more regular basis now and adding pictures as well.
until next time
Mrs. Flabby